Happy Mothers Day to MY Mom

A strength of growing older is recognizing ones strengths and areas of opportunities.  There is no doubt in my mind that an area of opportunity is that for as much of a planner that I am, I'm always behind on gifts and well wishes for birthdays and holidays.  It's not from a lack of caring.  Sometimes, it's because I want that perfect something and I don't find it.  Or, that I have NO idea what that perfect something would be.  Sometimes, it's because things fly at me like a curve ball, even thought it's on the calendar every year at the same time of year.  That would explain Mothers Day 2014.  It came in like a curve ball and BAM, hit me while I was at the grocery store last night that I hadn't done anything to prep for my own Mother.

I cruised passed the card aisle and quickly turned away as I was afraid of the gauntlet of other people who had Mothers Day drop out of the sky with 24 hour notice.  What I REALLY want to do is take her to Starbucks for an Oprah Chai (yes, I'm a sucker for the advertising) and spend the afternoon talking with her.  Since that can't happen with a 1136.39 mile gap, I decided to turn my opportunity into a strength and do what I do well... write a blog post.

Instead of LONG sappy paragraphs about how fantastic my Mom is (because she is), I'm going to write a Top 10 List (much like Letterman, who she loved to watch when I was a kid.  I have no idea how she stayed up that late.  I can't make it past 10 PM!)

Top 10 Reasons why Mom is Fantastic!  (in no order)

• Mom gives THE BEST cuddles!!!  Still now, when I'm grown she still has the warmest most meltable hugs and cuddles ever.  Kellan often tells me that he loves me because my skin is warm and sometimes he asks me why my skin is so warm.  It just occurred to me that I know why (besides my usual boring response of "because I'm alive".)  It's because Grandma made me this way and passed along the secret to the best cuddles ever, warm skin.
• Her Cooking!  Mom knows how to cook and everything she cooks is warm and cozy.  Are you sensing a theme?  She can make a feast out of nothing.  When most of us would claim that we have nothing in the refrigerator, Mom can swoop in and make a masterpiece.  Her baking is to die for, especially her sugar cookies.  There was nothing better than getting off of the school bus on a cold and snowy day just to come into the house with the fire blazing, sugar cookies lining the counter and coming out of the oven while Mom is happily singing Christmas songs from the kitchen.  I miss those days when I would belly up to the counter and eat cookies while we talked about our day.
• Open your heart and your home to anyone and everyone.  Everyone deserves a friend and a fair chance.  Even if some people were dealt a bad hand, you could be the one give them the card that turns that around.  Mom was always welcoming to anyone who came around.  She would open our home, feed them snacks/dinner, dish out hugs and sometimes, invite them to stay for long periods of time (like weeks or months).
• She taught us to be tough and brush off the pesky thinks.  When we would have trouble with friends or siblings, she would teach us that it didn't matter and to brush it off.  It's hard.  It's really hard, but she's right.  The only exception is that if they are your brother/sister, learn to live with it because you're stuck with them forever so we had better figure it out.  What we may not have realized was this was making us resilient for whatever the future would throw our way.
• Be truthful to your kids, but know that timing for the truth is key.  For example, it took over three decades to figure out how they stayed up into the late hours of the night playing cards with the neighbors while drinking hot tea.  Doesn't tea help you sleep?  Yes, unless it's an adult beverage in that tea cup and not Sleepy Time.  Or, that you really have your kids best interest in mind so you tell them that the water in the special green pitcher is actually sugar water.  Really, you just know that your kids need to drink more water and spoon full of sugar helps the medicine (water) go down.  This epiphany only took about a decade for her to tell me the truth on.  Or an immediate "NO" when your daughter wants to travel 6 hours to the State Basketball championship with a car full of boys.  It's about timing.  For the record... I would have been fine and I stand by this opinion. 

• Have fun with your kids and your grand kids.  Mom was more often than not willing to play with us.  She would get out in the feet of freshly fallen snow to built the biggest snow men ever.  Sometimes, the snowballs were rolled so big that we made snow horses.  She would plan days at the lake, complete with a car full of picnic food so that we could have fun in the sun and eat until our bellies were full.  Now that I'm a Mom, I realize how much work and effort these tasks were and how special they were.  Now that she's a Grandma, she doesn't hesitate to get on the floor to wrestle her grandsons or play a silly game with props on her head.

• The value of hard work and money.  I'll never forget standing in the clothing section of the department store where she explained how many hours my Dad had to work for this one outfits, or for the same money, these three outfits.  I learned early on that you have to work hard for what you want and then make wise choices when you spend the fruits of your labor.  This turned me into a a hard worker early on.  From babysitting in the early years, having my first real job that started on my 16th birthday, working three part time jobs while attending college full time, all the way to where I am today.  My success would not have come without the work ethic that was instilled in me by my Mom (and Dad... but that's for Fathers Day).
• Live and learn.  Really, there is no reason to harp on mistakes.  Live life, learn lessons, grow and move on.  

• It's hard to be a Mom, but our kids really do love us.  The best moment I've every had with my Mom was the most unsuspecting moment.  Oliver was about two weeks old and Mom and Dad were here to see him.  It was about 2 AM and Oliver was crying and I was consoling and he was crying and I was consoling.  It wasn't working.  Mom came into Oliver's room and took him while I said something like "he doesn't even like me" and then broke down in tears.  After a good cry, she said, "you know, I went through the same thing.  When you were little I thought that I couldn't do it and it was so hard."  or... something like that.  I don't exactly remember her words (it was 2 AM, I was sleep deprived and stressed that Oliver was inconsolable), but what I do remember is that she said it was hard for her too.  This was a big moment.  Mom was the baby whisperer and she did nearly everything with ease and confidence.  It gave me strength knowing that she had hard times too and at the end of the day, I did love her, even if I cried my head off when I was itty bity. After this, she gave Oliver back to me, he snuggled in and went to sleep.  It was all good after a bit of Motherly advice and a good cry.
• Always, turn to music.  Music is great for you!  It makes you want to dance, laugh, cry, sing!  It's always good for the soul, it bring people together or it brings you together within yourself.  No matter what you like, go for it.  My love of Elton John and Neil Diamond come from my early years when my Mom would play it for us as well as some Cowboy Chipmunk or Cindy Laupers Girls Just Wanna Have Fun on the record player.

Oh wait... that's 10 bullet points and I could just keep typing.  So much for short bullets and not long paragraphs. In summary, I was blessed with a top notch Mom and I know that many would agree as she stood in a Mothering position for them too.  To MY Mom, Happy Mothers Day.