I have photos in the que for other posts that planned to create before this one, but some things can't wait for chronological order. Some events must be captured before they leave my brain. This morning was like living in the Twilight Zone.
I think the best way to capture it is to post a portion of an email I sent to my friend Tammy. (Tammy is my sister-in-law Stephanie's sister in Sheridan, WY). She and I share a love for Chai from Starbucks. She emailed me this morning to inform me that she was enjoying a nice Chai and she was betting that I wished I had one as well. This was my response:
I was dreaming of a chai this morning, but it wasn't in the cards. Instead, I had a twilight morning. (And not with dreamy Edward. More of like the Twilight Zone).
- Kellan woke up at 6:00. When I went to get him I found that he had puked last night and slept in it. Gross!! It must not have been too bad since he didn't wake up.
- Kellan had major boogers that was causing a choking effect. I couldn't find the bulb syringe to help him out. Finally found it in our carry-on bag that we still haven't unpacked.
- Put Kellan on our bed with Oliver while I ran around getting ready for work. I asked our super reliable son Oliver to yell out if Kellan started crawling around. When I can back from packing up for work I found Kellan nearly hanging off the side of the bed. When I asked Oliver why he didn't tell me he said, in a calm and quiet voice without taking his eyes off of the Curious George show "Mom, Kellan's crawling".
- Kellan had pooped so I took him in his room to change him. It was the biggest poopy diaper I have ever seen on this kid. It somehow managed to get on the cuff of my nicely pressed white shirt.
- Dressed Kellan, Cleaned my shirt. I didn't have time for an entirely new outfit. Thankfully some brilliant person (must have been a woman, highly likely a Mom) invented the Tide stick.
- Wrangled the boys downstairs. Opened the door to the garage so I could load everything into Keith's car (because he needed mine and had to leave uber early today). All the while, Oliver stood in the doorway, watching it rain/snow.
- Loaded everything and everyone up and backed out of the garage.
- Garage door opener/closer didn't work.
- Put the car in park as I watched my golf bag fall over in the garage.
- Noticed the cat (who is ancient) was on the outside of the garage. She is a 100% house cat.
- Ran to get the cat (through the rain and snow), who ran to the back yard and under the porch.
- Moved lawn furniture to get to the cat, had to get down on my knee to reach her and pull her out by the scruff of her neck.
- Walked back around to the garage, tossed the cat inside the house, pushed the garage button and did the leap and dance out of the door in hopes of not hitting the door sensor.
- Hit the door sensor with my foot and the door went back up.
- Pushed the button again and opted to go through the house and out the front door.
- Got in the car, which I had left the drivers door wide open on because I did not anticipate the cat taking off.
- Asked Oliver "Did Madalyn go out the door this morning"?
- Oliver responded, "yes".
- Backed the car out of the driveway and began to drive away while explaining to Oliver that Madalyn can't go into the garage because she will escape and we'll never see her again, while trying not to freak him out too much.
- A moment later Oliver said (in a Wizard of Oz tone, a movie that he has yet to see) "Mom, We're not in Florida anymore".
- My response "No... we're not, buddy".
- Took kids to school.
- Told the infant teacher about my twilight morning, just from Kellan's perspective. Suggested a light breakfast and to call me if he had any relapses.
- Left him happy and laughing with Miss Alice.
- Took Oliver to his room and then remembered he didn't pee before we left the house.
- Asked Oliver if he had to pee. He did and he wanted me to go with him.
- We had a nice time in the classroom bathroom and discussed the toilets that were just his size and he explained that they are the perfect size for the girls to sit on because girls sit down and boys stand up.
- I asked him if he sits on those potties when he goes poopy.
- He said "ya. But sometimes, I just save my poopy for when I get home" while flashing a sly smile. This would explain why he has to go poop every night at dinner time.
- Hugs, kisses and I'm off.
- Keith sends a text "Forgot to tell you that I need to re-sync the garage door button in my car. The other opener is on the passenger side visor.
- My thoughts "Oh sure, now you tell me." as I wonder if the garage door opener that didn't work saved the cats life?
Yes, I could have used a Chai. Now it's raining and snowing outside and I'm buried up to my eye balls in work (even though I clearly took the time to type this). There is no way I'm venturing out for a Chai. Do you deliver?
This was the conclusion of my email, that was probably more therapeutic than anything. By the way, Tammy doesn't deliver outside of a 100 mile radius. I recommend she fire up the U-haul and move to Cheyenne. I'm not sure that her husband would agree. Maybe I need to bribe him with an Under Armor shirt or two. I hear that's his soft spot.
This was not the end of the adventure in Mommyhood Takes on Career Woman's Morning.
The school called me this afternoon and Kellan had returned his lunch the same way it entered. He also was delivering extra special packages in his Pampers along with a mild temperature. I picked him up and took him straight to his pediatrician. He had an ear infection about 2 weeks ago, I was concerned that it was lingering. Sure enough, the ear infection was either lingering or had returned. He also has a stomach bug. I would say, I thought cold and flu season was over but it snowed today. It just goes to show, life is unpredictable.
On a snowy side note: When Oliver saw the snow this morning, he said "Mom, it's snowing. It's almost Christmas". My response was "No, it's not almost Christmas". When he asked why, I said "because we have to have summer first, then Christmas will come again". Let's hope Mother Nature agrees with that plan.
1 comment:
I tried to laugh WITH you, but I think it came out as more of a "laughing AT you" type of giggle. As a consequence, I know that I'll end up with "one of those mornings" tomorrow! Although, the thought of one of the cats being on the OUTSIDE of the house kind of thrills me, because the phrase "Lost Cat" would seem like a blessing at OUR house! The Grim Reaper and Mayhem do not always follow the house rules, which specifically state: THERE SHALL BE NO USING OF THE CLAWS ON THE CARPET, NOR SHALL THERE BE ANY SITTING OF THE HAIRY RUMP ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHILE MAMA IS AWAY. And yet they both do these things! And as for moving to Cheyenne, THAT option is out of the question. If Hubs is going to pull a U-Haul anywhere, he wants to move to one of two places: Hawaii (which sort of renders the U-Haul as U-seless, unless we can get the U-Float version) or the City of Goodness, which is Denver. Hubs calls it this because the City of Goodness has two things: The Avalanche and the Broncos. When asked why he chose to pack up and move, Hubs would say, "Well, I moved to Denver on faith. I didn't have a job lined up when we set off, but I came here for the boys in maroon and blue, who skate and beat up the Detroit Red Wings!" So clearly I COULD bring you chai lattes then, on days like yesterday, and I could even deliver them in a timely manner, unless, of course, I was in one of my "SAFETY-FIRST, HANDS-AT-TEN-AND-TWO, AND MAX OUT AT 40 MPH ON THE INTERSTATE" grooves, when I was desperately trying to decide which exit I needed and busy hyperventilating as people whizzed by me and yelled, "SPEED IT UP, LADY." Or...unless I had been distracted by something really shiny, like Gap Kids. Or...unless I had to parallel park somewhere, because MAMA DON'T PARALLEL. Ever. Period. But other than THOSE delays, which would cause me to hand deliver a COLD chai to you, I'd totally be there when you had poop and puke and cats where they shouldn't be and golf clubs falling everywhere and garage doors freaking out. The end.
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